Angel
21 February 2020
Just as the waves of a pond ripple outward when a stone is dropped in it, such are the effects of the decisions we make. The bigger the stone, the bigger the waves; the bigger the decision, the bigger the effects. These effects ripple outward and touch everyone that is in our lives or has ever been in our lives.
Sometimes ripples can become literal waves, enhancing every moment after tenfold. They cause us to become hypervigilant to things that we thought were tucked away safely behind locks in our mind. Those waves come though, and crash through those locks and open everything we thought we were past. When you made that decision, it hit like a cement weight in my gut. I haven’t been able to think clearly or find any way to move forward yet. Instead, I’m stuck waiting for the tears to come and the anger to stop. I’m hurting to my core and confused by the permanent decision of a child. How is that even possible?? How did you slip through the cracks without anybody there to see?
Looking back at those ripples again….as a parent I know I really won’t have a moment to truly grieve, so I leave my wounds to heal on their own so that I can try to help my own babies process and push forward again. On top of every other shitty thing happening around us, waiting for the water to subside so that we can take a breath again. You see, these decisions move so far past the one making them. Nobody wins, no problem has been solved, just deep immense pain is left. One family has been completely crushed, going through something that no parent should ever have to face. Every family in their path is left fearing for their own children’s mental health, and the possibilities of what they aren’t seeing. There’s nobody to blame, no answers to justify, just constant confusion forever.
There’s not much more I can say here. Just hug your loved ones, check on your friends. Never let someone feel as if they have no one to turn to because loneliness is absolutely a silent killer.
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Head on over to the Note by Note Blog for The Ripple Effect part 3
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